I recently turned in a paper on an assignment titled "I believe..." It was essentially an assignment in which we are to write out one of our beliefs. So I decided to go with one of my usual jovial voices in this paper.
I was surprised to get a 100% on this. The teacher commented, "I love it. It is perfect and funny and I love all the puns at the end. You should really consider entering it to be published on NPR's website. So so good. Thank you."
I was happy to hear what my teacher had to say, but I am posting the paper here as well to get some feedback. I am interested in writing, but mostly editing. So I really do want to hear truthful criticism, even if I don't agree.
I hope you enjoy it.
Give Me a Peace
of Pizza
I have many beliefs. I often express my beliefs openly and
honestly. I believe that dogs are meant
to teach people unconditional love. I
believe that my husband loves me and can’t imagine life without me. I believe that embarrassing your children is
good parenting. Above all, I believe in
Pizza Sunday.
I don’t know when this conviction
took hold, but I know why. One night as
I was having my weekly craving for pizza, I felt more irritated than usual
handing over the $30 to the pizza delivery guy.
Why is pizza so dang expensive?
It only consists of a few inexpensive ingredients; flour, water, yeast,
and some olive oil. Then the worst of
the irritations crept into my mind, I want to have pizza on Sunday and having
delivery on Sunday did feel a little wrong, regardless of my hankering. A few years ago, I discovered a recipe for
pizza dough. It was tucked away in a
dusty baking book, and it was simple. After
watching the dough rise successfully and constructing carefully crafted
creations, our family ate our pizzas with much satisfaction. The cost of this delight is roughly
$5.00. Our pizza cost drastically dropped
from the previously mentioned fortune of $30.
This little bit of heaven became such a staple
in our home we decided to make it the traditional Sunday dinner. Our ritual has comforted on sad days and changed
bad days to good. I find this practice
most soothing after tough Sunday as Primary President for my church. I take consolation knowing that I will go
home, take off pain inflicting shoes, knead all my frustrations into soft, white,
sticky, elastic dough, and delve into cheesy pleasure. This custom is so entrenched in our
household, that everyone in our ward family knows that we are not to be
disturbed on this day. Pizza Sunday is
sacred.
The lasting effect of having Pizza
Sunday has led me to the belief that if everyone participated in Pizza Sunday,
there would cease to be war. I have a
sense that if we all spent time with our families on a Sunday afternoon creating
pizza dough, eating this most beloved entrée, we would have world peace. The smell of fresh baked bread would fill our
homes and envelop us in a warm comforting sensation. Heaven on earth would become a reality.
I know that some may argue the reason
for harmony would be due to the family spending time with each other. I am proposing it is not the time with the
family, but the pizza itself that causes all anarchy to dissipate. Pizza dough is primarily made with
flour. Flour is soft and easy on the
stomach. Soft warm bread dough fills the
belly and makes one feel like the world is right and full of happiness and
solidarity. Thus pizza is the reason for
peace.
I love all that pizza Sunday has come to
stand for. We have togetherness, we
knead our time together as a family each day and Sunday we press all that
experience into doughy goodness. The
kids each spend time placing their toppings in happy face patterns on their
individually sized and shaped pizzas, reminding them to see joy in life. We wait and watch the dough rise, and the
smell of hot bread, tomato sauce, and cheese fill the home. Thus, pizza Sunday is a time for reflection,
togetherness, and to eat something that just tastes delicious. Pizza Sunday holds this family together, and
I am absolutely convinced that it will save the human race. Peace
and pizza to all.
I
