The Perfect Man?!?!?

What is your idea of the perfect man? 

For some it's a highly educated man.  A lot of women want a man with a good sense of humor, although most women don't have one themselves.  Of course looks are on the menu, and don't forget that all important RICH factor.  Then there's the romantic sensitive man that we all desire, you know the one.  He helps you when you are feeling low, listens, and gives you back rubs when you need them. He loves to watch "Sleepless in Seattle" with you EVERY TIME and cries at the right part too. 

 Let me ask you...have you met a man that meets all these qualities?  Niether have I.  Yet I believe I have married a perfect man.......For Me.  He doesn't meet all of this criteria, yet I am happy. 

Why?  Because I have accepted that I am not a perfect woman.

 

Often you hear, "There is no perfect marriage."  I say HOGWASH.  ALL marriages are perfect.  It's the people that are imperfect.  If you want to feel like your marriage is perfect than you need to work on it, don't just expect magic to happen everyday.  Girls we don't live in a Romantic Comedy. 

I have a bunch of single friends that are looking for love.  They have their lists.  You know the ones......things that they need to qualify the man for the "privelage" of dating them.  I agree with most of the qualifications that my friends have on their list.  For example; must not be a convict, must not smoke or drink (ok if they did it in the past and gave it up), and the all important; must not be currently married. 

But I think that some women might be expecting too much. 

How bout this one ladies.  Would you date this man?

• Pot smoker
• High School Drop Out
• Never Knew His Father
• Mother is a truck driver and is never home.
• Was kicked out of the state of California for breaking car windows.
• Knocked up his girlfriend at the age of 17
• Rumored Player
• One who questions authority, known troublemaker.

Well.........What do you think?  Would you give him the time of day?

I did. 

He's my perfect man.  No we aren't rich, but more importantly we are happy.  He makes me laugh with his dry wit.  He takes care of me even when I am being raunchy.  He loves our children.  He works harder than any other man than I have met.  And more important than any of that he loves me, which is a miracle.

The reason for my rant today ladies and gentlemen, is not to say, "I have it better than you" but to say you have it great too.  All you have to do is appreciate what you have and make the most of it.  Because I know you all can agree with me when I say you aint the dream girl/guy either.  We all have faults and our mates have to deal with those just like we have to deal with theirs!

So, give them a break and give them a great big kiss, cause your'e lucky to have them.

Keep It Simple--Stupid!

All growing up, I heard this phrase.  My parents would shout it from the roof tops.  Mostly shouting, because I was a stupid child, and didn't like to listen.  Well things as of late, have been complicated.  My fault of course.  I have a couple of successful looking cakes, and I get cocky!  So when my niece tells me in January that she wants a cake with Blue and Green polka dots on it, I think, "Noooooo Problem."  However that turned into nothing short of a disaster. 

Then we all know what happened with Sydney's butt cake. 

So now here it is, David's birthday.  My baby.  My only son.  The other man in my life. 

He wants a Tron Cake.  Tron?  Yes, Tron.  Crazy looking motorcycles, computer type gaming stuff.

  What kind of cake can I do with that.  I have an aversion to black icing.  I can't stand doing black. 

 So I decide to 

Keep It Simple.

I hear my parents mantra in my head.  I bake a sheet cake, ice it white.  I did a little black for effect, and the electric blue for accents.  Ta-Da!  Add a couple of die-cast vehicles from the movie and you got a Tron Cake.  

Thank heaven that David is 6 and pretty much anything impresses him.  And, it was recently brought to my attention that I must have been concentrating really hard because I spelled "Birthday" wrong on the cake.  My confidence is obviously not back to where it was and I wonder if it ever will be again.  But at least he had a yummy cake.  Yes I did too.  Can't resist that Buttercream Frosting.  It's the nectar of the gods.  

As for David, my baby. 

 He isn't anymore.  He is growing rapidly and I miss the baby-ish things that he used to do.  He still loves to "fly" things all over the house.  He has really taking to building paper airplanes lately.  I find them EVERYWHERE!!!  He even shot one off in church a couple of weeks ago before I could stop him.  What a turkey.  Of course with William as his father, what did I expect?  

Happy 6th Birthday David.  I love you. 

Glimpses

It's sometimes astounding what you will glimpse in a rear view mirror.

 As I was travelling up Middleton with my three happy children I couldn't help but be invigorated by the warm temperature outside.  I actually had the windows down for the first time this year.  It's sad when 60 degrees feels like short sleeve and shorts weather but when you have winters like we have in Idaho I long for Spring.  Now I know Idaho winters are mild, and yes by comparison winter in Boise is nothing like winter in Wisconsin.  However for this desert rat who is from the scorching desert of Las Vegas, it's freezing when temps get below 75 degrees.  Yet, when the first glimpses of warm weather happen I feel the difference drastically and I love to open the windows and enjoy it. 

Well I wasn't the only one taking in the nice weather, there was a motorcyclist behind me cruising at a slow pace.  He looked equally happy with the opportunity to be out on his bike with the sun shining.  He wasn't directly behind me, which led me to believe that he was just happy to be out on his bike, not in a hurry. 

It's amazing how much can change in an instant.

Not long after making my observation, I looked in my rear view mirror to check on that happy biker, and noticed a van that had turned left right in front him.  That poor guy had no where to go.  He plowed right into the side of that mini van.  At first I had no idea that what I had just seen was real.  Frankly I had a hard time believing that something like that could happen on a day like today. 

I guess it can.

I turned around immediately and parked a little ways away from the accident.  I didn't want to the kids to see a dead man in the road.  I ran up to the accident and saw this happy biker lying on the ground unable to move.  I won't go into the gory details but I will say that the amount of blood that I saw, scared me so much I thought that I was looking at a man that wasn't long for this world.  I was terrified for him.  In an instant my heart went to this biker's family and friends.  Who were they, how do I get a hold of them?  While he was lying on the ground, several times he attempted to get up and it took myself and several other bystanders to keep him still.  The wonderful thing is that while we were all standing around this man, several of us started praying out loud.  Crying for our Heavenly Father to spare this man's life.  I asked him his name after slowly removing his sunglasses so that I could see his eyes.  He slurred but clearly said, "Paul". 

"Hi Paul, I am Stacey."

Amazing how you can look someone in the eye, that you have never met before and love that person instantly.  My heart went out to this man and his family.  I was touched by his strength.  I asked about his daughter, and his ex wife.  All the questions were an attempt to keep him awake and alert.  It didn't take too long before the emergency response team was there.  They took him to the hospital. 

My children were terrified, even though they didn't see the scene.  They knew something tragic had just happened.  Those sweet children were teary eyed, concerned, and directed their worry to our

Heavenly Father in prayer.

Oh the faith of our small ones. 

I have made a follow up call.  The nurse told me tonight that he is fine and should recover well.  He was surrounded by his family and should recover.  When I told my daughter that all was well with Paul, her face lit up and she felt like everything was better.  I told her, her prayers were answered and Paul is fine.

It was a tragic accident that took a beautiful day and turned it upside down for a biker who wanted to enjoy a ride, and a mother who was out shopping.  But as the paramedics worked on Paul, my eyes met his and at that moment I felt a connection with a brother.  I am thankful that I know that we have a Father in Heaven who loves us individually.  I am thankful for glimpses that we receive into our connections with others.   

Butt Cake for My Baby Girl

I wake up in the morning generally around 7:00.  That is only if I can fall back asleep after William leaves for work in the morning.  At seven in the morning a quiet shuffling is going on in my house.  My youngest child is usually awake first.  He will walk quietly down the hall to go to the bathroom and then announce to me that he is hungry.  Not long after David's announcement, my oldest child will get up and she will tell me that she had some crazy dream, or what she read in her latest Harry Potter adventure novel.  My middle child, Elizabeth, will then get up and lay down in bed with me to cuddle for a minute while her eyes adjust to the idea of being open.  My morning routine has not altered for quite some time.  The only thing that has changed is what the kids talk about, but the ritual has not changed.  It's comforting, and I often wonder how long it will last. 

Sydney turned ten this last week.  She is a tween!! When I reflect on my morning routine with my children it really makes me gasp to think that it's been ten years since Sydney was born.  It's amazing how time flies.  My parents often remarked how time speeds up as you get older and as a young adult I couldn't wait to be grown up and be "Free".  Wow, I was seriously delusional.  But time does speed up and I don't see it slowing down, I see it marching right across my face.  Time is aging my daughter into the preteen stage and having her tell me that I am crazy. 

Sydney is turning into a remarkable young person.  She is extremely clever, and very smart.  She is great at math, which seems to come very easily to her.  She loves the scriptures, going to church, and going to her activities with her friends.  But, underneath the beautiful and smart exterior there seems to be a storm brewing.  I am anticipating the day when I wake up and hear from her charming face that I am a horrible mother and that I don't know anything.  I hope I will be prepared.  I hear that I am not liked daily from my five year old son.  Usually when he is mad at me for not getting his way, I am used to that.  In a way I believe he is training me for the day the girls tell me that they hate me.

Welcome to David's Parenting Teens Prep Boot Camp.  You'll be trained to take a verbal bashing by your child.  You'll be callused and toughened up.  Get ready for that terrible day when you find out from your teen that you know nothing, that they hate you, and that they want nothing more than to be grown up and away from you.  Yes, you'll be ready with David's patented Parenting Teens Prep Boot Camp. 

Well maybe I will be lucky and my kids won't hate me.  A girl can dream can't she.

Well I decided to make Sydney a cake for her birthday, like I do for all the kids.  Sydney and her cousin Katy have birthdays only days apart so they decided to share a cake this year.  They chose to have a Harry Potter themed cake.  No big surprise there.  The problem was that all the cakes that I saw required a much higher skill set than I have.  But I decided I could try something new.  What's the worst thing that could happen?  You could have a cake look like crap, but it always tastes good.  

So after I searched through a lot of cakes online, I decided to try a spell book with a wand, scarf glasses and a golden snitch for props.

 

This would require me to work with something completely new.  Fondant.  I tried the recipe that a friend referred me to.  A marshmallow fondant.  YUM!!  It it made with marshmallows and powdered sugar and shortening.  Yup folks that is it.  It is terribly messy, because you melt the marshmallows and then knead in the sugar, hence the need for shortening otherwise the marshmallows would stick to your body and you would look like the Ghostbusters after defeating the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.  Trust me, you still end up looking like that a little anyway.  Coloring this fondant is not what I thought it would be like, so the off white color I was looking for turned out to be more like a flesh tone and the book after it was carved turned out looking more like a butt.  Yes I had just created a BUTT CAKE for my daughter. 

It was tragic.  I had William shape two Tootsie Rolls to look like wands, but if you weren't careful it could really look like a butt cake with two long turds.  Thank heaven that the snitch turned out okay.  I made that from a wooden ball and feathers.  I painted the ball gold and attached the feathers by drilling two small holes in the side.

  I could not get the the coloring right for the scarf so I threw that idea away all together.  I didn't want some blackish looking cloth draped over the butt cake.  It would have looked even more disgusting.  

So before that tragic morning when my daughter wakes up and looks at me with they eyes of an intolerant teenager I can always look back at the "Butt Cake" and take comfort in the fact that I got my child to eat a butt.  Oh yes, you can bet I will rub it in her face too if she gets too snotty with me.  That's the way I roll.

Happy Birthday to my baby girl, Sydney.

So what now?

Okay for those of you who know me there is always some sort of project in the works or something that I have torn up or that I am working on.

The girls' room took up a huge amount of time and energy over the holidays and frankly made my Christmas more enjoyable because I knew it was a gift that would be used. Well they have to sleep in their room now don't they?

Just a quick little project that I worked on last week was a bench by the front door. I want to call it a "dump bench", but that just sounds wrong. So I will have to come up with something better, but for the lack of imagination this morning I will refer to it as the aforementioned "dump bench". The function of my "dump bench" is for guests to have a place to put their stuff while they are visiting. The genius of some architects doesn't seem to included a place for people to hang their coats when visiting friends. No closet by the front door. Absolute oversight. So with left over lumber and paint, I make William use some power tools and get to work. Now due to our lack of funds the bench is not yet complete. We have to get the hooks to hang the coats and I would like some baskets for under the bench for bags/shoes and whatever to be stored. That takes money, and money I don't have, so for now it's a dump bench. Welcome to Will and Stacey's feel free to dump your stuff on the bench.

Now that the project is complete, well as complete as it will get for now...

NOW WHAT?

I am lost. I am stumped, I don't know what to do now. Projects usually take money, I have none! Projects take energy and time, and while I am okay on the time thing the energy seems to be lacking. But wait....maybe it's not so much energy as it is motivation. Now there's the rub.

Well, for now, I am projectless, and have ideas swimming in my head. One of which includes the use of a sledgehammer. You can imagine William's reluctance on that one. Well, for now I will just work on the motivation thing and let you know.

ANTICIPATION

Well the much awaited bedroom saga is finally ready to be shared with the public.

This has been an awesome project, lasting over two and a half months. My life literally got put on hold and things that should have taken priority got put on the back burner, including my health. I got sick a few times over the course of this project, probably from lack of sleep among other things.

The mission was to create a dream bedroom for the girls for their Christmas present. Little did I know that my imagination would take over my concious being and I would become a monster. I saw nothing but pink and blue. I created more work than I originally had planned but I couldn't be stopped. Nothing would stand in the way of my dream bedroom, wait I mean the girl's dream bedroom.

The plan was to eliminate the snoopy and sneaky eyes of my children. So I removed their mattresses from their room and planted them in their brother's room much to their chagrin. Next I swapped out their doorknob with one that had a keyed lock. I carried the key on my person for the entire length of the project. BWAAA HAAAA HAAAAA.

First I needed to make new comforters for their beds. No I was not going to do this simply. No going to the store and picking out cute bedspreads was not going to happen .......I was going to quilt, without a quilting machine. I was going to quilt with chanille and baby fleece, and make it the softest and fluffiest quilt I could. Then I was going to tie it......with RIBBON!!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???!?!?!?!? I made my mother and grandmother come help tie these things late at night. While I stood over them with a whip and a needle I hounded these women to tie the quilts exactly the way I had in mind. After that I decided the girls needed pillow shams to match, with each girl's initial on them and a tiara. Yah it keeps going. That's just the comforters.

The Next thing was the paint job. I say job, because it was just that. I will never in my lifetime paint Harlequin diamonds again. The effect I wanted was a stunning midieval look that would stand the test of time. After the week long taping and painting was done I decided that I could care less if the girls hated it in two to ten years time, because they would be stuck with it regardless of their feelings. The technique to accomplish this paint job is painstaking and tedious. It requires a lot of measuring, drawing, and taping. But it turned out well I think.

Well since Mommy monster has sold the beds that my girls slept on to fund our nightmare.... I needed to have my wonderful sweet husband become an impromptu carpenter. "CREATE THE BEDS", I demanded. "and they better be freaking adorable."

He drew pictures, took measurements, and then he thought and thought and thought. I hate that part. Finally he had his plan. After our 400,032nd trip to the hardware store, we were able to start sawing and hammering and nailing. Hopefully this time without shooting himself tin the finger. The more Minnie Mouse they looked the better. Boy was I happy with the way they turned out.

The cornice boxes were new for my hubby and me but they were easy to do none the less. Painting them with spray paint was a huge mistake. I made myself sick. How do kids huff that stuff? Something must really be wrong with them.

The lampshade was put together by my mother and father. Another original creation from the mind of a monster. They also purchased a really awful ottoman from goodwill that I am sure came right through a time machine from the 60's and into my living room. I took the girls old window box cushion and reupholstered that disaster into a cute little foot stool for my darlings.

We also had to install an adorable chandelier that the Pink lady gave to us as a gift for the project. I honestly can say that it is probably her fault that I did this in the first place. That light just released the deamons within. Sharon was also my scapegoat. Any time I worked on anything pink I said it was for her. It totally worked.

The project involved lots of little projects like little cusions for their new loveseat. A bookshelf that I found on Craigslist and painted and loads of little details.

This project would not have been possible had it not been for the contributions that were made by friends and family.

I owe a huge thanks to Sharon (the Pink Lady), Aunt Colleen (who contributed money), Great Grandma Sylvia (who also contributed money), Great Grandpa Jack (who gave a cash contribution), Great Grandma Mardell (who helped with the quilts, My mother and father who both created the lampshade and helped with the quilts. And of course my wonderful miracle worker of a husband who took an entire week off from work to help tame my insanity and make dreams happen.

The girls were totally ecstatic. They loved every little detail. It really was a memorable Christmas for not only them but for me and my family as well. Thank you everyone for your help and for your patience in dealing with my craziness the last couple of months.

Back to normalacy......somewhat.

OH BOY IT"S COMING!!

Okay folks.
((CUE the deep "Movie Trailer" voice)
The project that has been two months in the making.
The girls have been kicked out of their room and they are currently sleeping in a room with their brother that is wall to wall mattress.
Mother and Father are frantically at work trying to create a bit of Christmas Mahem.
What will the children find this season under the tree.
NOTHING....................
BWAAAA HAAAAA HAAAAAAA HAAAAAA!!!!

Pictures and documented adventure coming soon to a blog near you.