My Life Has Been Stolen Away By A Woman Named Sharon

Last Thursday I was minding my own business when the phone rang. It was a dear friend named Judy, my heart stopped beating in my chest, because I thought she might be calling with bad news about my old neighbor. No, that wasn't the purpose of her call. She had a mission for me, a dangerous mission.


"I have a friend," Judy began, "who needs your help, Stacey. She has a kitchen." (Well, don't most of us.) She continued, "This kitchen is not in a state of happiness. Sharon needs this kitchen to be decorated.........like a candy store." A what??? How old is this woman? Is she serious? WHY? Does her husband know what she is doing? All of these questions were going through my mind when I happened to hear a woman giggling in the background of my conversation with Judy. "Here I will put her on the phone," said Judy.


I was terrified, yet intrigued when Sharon began to explain how she had many candy jars and she wanted to display them in her drab and dreary kitchen. I told Sharon that I would be happy to help rescue her kitchen. I made an appointment to meet with her on Saturday and I believed that I would have plenty of time to work on this project. Then I heard the words from Sharon's mouth that changed everything, "My cousins are coming next Thursday and I want it done by then."

WHAT????? ARE YOU CRAZY????? NO FREAKING WAY!!!!!!!

Is what I should have said.

"No problem, I will have to come see what you have tonight."

Is what I actually said.

You know those moments in time, when it freezes and things move extra slow, and you feel like you might be able to go back and change what just happened. This was one of those moments, however, I didn't change anything. I moved forward. Saying "Yes, I can do that" like I always do. Stupid Stupid Stacey!

Well I went to her home, and her idea of drab and dreary is completely different than mine. The kitchen was beautiful, albeit very cluttered. But the cabinets are gorgeous and the layout interesting. It did need a splash of color here and there, but most would do that with cabinet hardware and some dish towels. Maybe a few flower arrangements. This woman wants a CANDY STORE.

OK, I can do that.

We painted two of her walls a faint pink and ordered some pink striped wallpaper. Those two decisions alone took up about 12 to 24 hours of my life. The valance above her cabinets. Well that is a whole different can of worms.

Sharon is a wonderful, fun and interesting woman. I can see us being long and good friends. However, she changes her mind frequently. Her husband passed away a few years back, and she is left to her own devices into the wee hours of the morning. The Internet can be a horrible thing when you are alone and have no supervision. This woman changed her mind about the valance about six times. That took up about 12 hours of my life. Not to mention the actual sewing of the final product. The wall is 176 1/2 inches wide. Which means the ruffle had to be 353 inches long. Sewing a perfectly straight line 353 inches, takes a long time. I had to sew the hems, and the hole for the rod to go through and the ruffle. So I sewed 353 inches, 5 times. That's a total of 1765 inches. Okay people that's 147 feet. That's roughly fifty yards, that's half a football field. THAT WAS JUST THE RUFFLE!!!!

Now lets talk about the valance, or rather, let's not. I will just say, Sharon wanted a scallop and to create the above mentioned scallop 35 separate scallops were sewn together to reach the 176 1/2 inches across the top of her cabinets.
This phase of the project is completed. The valance is up in her kitchen, and best yet, Sharon is happy. When I left her she was giggling uncontrollably. Which is how I prefer to leave my clients. The one thing I took away from this portion of the Kitchen project, I don't charge enough.

There will be more to come, I still haven't put up her wallpaper, a whole separate adventure, I will have to learn to fly for this one. I also am working on convincing her to put green glass knobs on her cabinets and antiqued white tin on her back splash.

For the past 7 days my life was consumed by a sweet lady, who would never be seen as something so dangerous. But isn't that how it works in nature?

The saga continues, more to come......