A Swanky Tail Tale

Once in awhile I emerse myself in a project that takes me away from all reason and sanity. It takes me to a place of mania, mayhem, and madness.

For over a year I have had a looming project. She has stared at me from the corners of my garage and spoken softly to me every time I moved her. Every so often I would think, "I should get that done." But always I would put it off like some surgical procedure that I was afraid to have done. Finally, the day arrived when my little determined heart got up the courage to attack the project head on. I told the Pink Lady, "I have set a date." In layman's terms that's "Stacey" for "I will be doing nothing till this project is done!"

I took the pony from the garage and prepped a table in my front room for the procedure. Now some of you who know me well, understand that putting a project in the middle of one of my rooms is dangerous. This is because I HATE things out of order. So having this plastic mare in my front room was a huge motivator. And yes, you heard me right a white plastic horse now occupied my front room. She was going to become one of the Pink Lady's treasures. At the time she didn't look it.

My sister was originally supposed to take on this project, however she didn't quite understand our lovely Pink Lady's conception of the task at hand. Trying to convey her ideas is like trying to explain the inner workings of a satalite to an infant. It is really tough to do without a translator. But sometimes I often think that translators must get frustrated and want to do the task themselves to avoid having to try to find the right words to accomplish whatever job is needing to be done. For this reason I decided to take over for my sister. I have trekked into that dangerous mind of the Pink Lady, and although I don't understand everything I can see glimpses of her vision.

I decided to just dive in head first. The saddle of a carousel horse is generally the most ornate portion of the fantasy. The saddle on this horse is of Spanish design and therefore not the swirly, girly, frilly, frothy type that my Pink person wanted. However it's what I had to work with. So my first version of this horse wasn't exactly what she wanted.

We headed to the computer and took that journey into Pink Lady's imagination......that dangerous place, her mind. We finally found something she swooned over. After entertaining the thought of maybe buying a whole different horse and then realizing that would be extrememly expensive. We moved forward. This time I said to myself I am going to paint this thing and get it over and done with.

At one point I met Pink Princess in the Hobby Lobby to pick out some trimmings. I thought that it would add a touch of life if we added some fringe or tassles to our saddle to make it more frilly, frothy, and fancy. So I brought the horse with me, which at this point had been named Fancy Fanny, because I had painted rather large roses on her butt. So with a horse in my cart I spent about three to four hours at the Hobby Lobby (my new favorite store). By the time I left I had received hugs from the lady at the cutting counter and two cashiers. I must have had a look of absolute defeat on my face.

I came back home and attacked the project head on. Poor William didn't get any cuddles from me. As long as that horse was in the house I was consumed with nothing else. I had even commissioned him to create a stand that the horse would need. While he was working on that project I had to tend to something in the house, I think one of the kids needed me for something. A few minutes later William comes into the house to inform me he needed a bandaid because he had just shot himself in the finger with the nail gun. After my complete and utter panic had subsided, I realized that he had already pulled the nail out of his finger and all I had to do was slap a gauze bandage on him. Drama Drama Drama

Now more than ever, I wanted that horse to go home to Pink Lady. I was a woman with a mission. I finished her up and without so much as a "how do you like her" I took her home. I was praying that Pink Lady would love her, but at the same time dreading her first meeting because I feared that she wouldn't like her and I would have to start all over again. Alas, she told me Fancy Fanny was perfect so we installed her pole and stared at her for an hour or so.

Of course there is the promise of my return to Fancy Fanny because we have yet to find a proper finial and ribbons for her to complete her look of perfection.

It has been suggested by Pink Lady and my mother that maybe I should paint more of these maddening mares to make a profit. However this is a venture I plan to never do again. I stared into the eyes of a pink horse, painted her butt with large pink roses, and glued lace to her saddle. I think I have done all I can in the world of equine fantasy. When I finished that horse it was like seeing "The End" at the conclusion of a Tim Burton film. You are completely relieved it's over.

GREY ICING?!?!?

For those of you that are fans of the movie Steel Magnolias you will recognize this cake and the line regarding the grey icing. For those of you who don't know the movie, I am sorry.

"It's got grey icing, I can't even begin to think how you make grey icing." M'Lynn about the red velvet armadillo groom's cake.

This line repeatedly made it's way through my head after I finally decided what kind of cake to make my nephew for his 11th birthday.

Lately I have been taking to the idea of making a cake for a gift when it comes to birthdays. I am extremely strapped for cash, and I have never been a fan of giving gifts that are later forgotton or broken. So I give the memorable gift of cake. But hopefully not just any cake. One that you will remember. I haven't posted all of my cakes that I have made. But this one was worth mentioning because I had no idea how I was going to do it.

I asked my nephew last week, "What kind of cake do you want?" He proceeded to tell me that he wanted a Star Wars cake with figures on it. Okay......that could be somewhat easy. But I wanted something cool. So I went where every good copy cat goes for ideas. The internet.

There were some great ideas.

I even found some not so good ideas.

It wasn't until William got involved that I felt truly inspired. While getting ready for the day Monday morning. William says a great idea would be to build the Pit of Sarlaac. Okay Star Wars fans, I know I don't have to explain to you. For those of you with distant and foggy memories.....It's the pit that Luke has to save everyone from in the "Return of the Jedi". You know the one with all the tenticles.

Yah, ambitious. Yet intriguing. I would need to find the ship and the characters or it just wouldn't be right. So Monday I dropped my kids off at Grandma's ran a quick errand for the Pink Lady, and then headed off to Wal-mart to see if they had what I needed. I ventured to two Wal-marts actually with no luck. So I compromised.

I got a C3Po and and R2D2. I had to change my plan.

Now what!?!?!

Well maybe I will do the Death Star. Please don't make me explain that one.

Ok, one problem......grey icing. That's when Steel Magnolias took hold. How the heck do I make grey icing.

My journey took me to the internet again. I will not use fondant. I can't stand the taste. So I had to use Wilton's recipe for Buttercream icing. YUMMY!!! Now how do I turn it grey? Wilton's website basically led me to believe that they sell the color, grey. I would just have to find the store that sold it. Yah, good luck. I tried one store and decided I would just use a little black and pray that it wouldn't go too dark on me. I also found some cake spray paint. FUN FUN FUN!

So after I tried to carve a sphere out of cake I proceeded to tint my delicious icing an unappealing color.

Turned out less than perfect by my standards, but for an eleven year old I guess it would do. I learned a lot. I also learned from a friend some new tips and a fondant recipe that i might end up using for the next cake. Which apparently is to be an Iron Man cake, for my other nephew in two weeks.

Back to the internet.

Life's a Scream

Long Long Ago......

about two months ago.

A mother dreamed of her children being obedient and considerate of their mother's OCD. Their rooms were frightfully messy.

Lurking under beds I could see hairy monsters peering out.

Behind the toybox I could hear the piercing screams of the damned. Venturing to the closet is the most dangerous of all treks that I would take. The doors eerily creaked as I anticipated something jumping out. And then...

AAAAAAHAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

No floor. I could have sworn there was a floor in this closet, but yet I can't see it. Oh the humanity. What a terrible sight. The Gore!!! The Terror!!! The Killer Dust Bunnies!!!

Okay so I am being a little dramatic. But it was a sight to behold. Wait, no it was not.

I made a deal with the kids.

"You keep your rooms clean between now and Halloween and you can have new costumes."

It might have been too much to ask, but a mom can dream can't she?

You are correct in assuming that my wishes and hopes were dashed. No my kids didn't keep their rooms clean for even a week.

Oh Well.

But I had to turn into the Devil because I had to follow through. UGGGGGHHHH!

That is the one part about parenthood that drives me crazy. Follow through. Without "follow through" we are powerless. The little monsters would have free reign of our homes, our neighborhoods, our country. I couldn't let that happen.

I put on my devil horns and tail and proclaimed that new halloween costumes were not happening.

The screams of horror that came from those sweet faces could have softened the most hardened of hearts. However, I was a mother with a mission. I must resist their evil powers.

So Halloween approached and still I stuck to what I said. No new costumes.

All right so I slipped up a little bit.

I bent a tad.

I caved in slightly.
I compromised.

I purchased red shirts for them and got them horns and tails.

The spawn on the devil was a most appropriate costume choice.

So my children got to participate in our church's trunk or treat event.



The sad part of this story is that later I had to fight those monsters, and the killer dust bunnies myself. Apparantly my spawn don't clean well enough to appease my OCD demons.

So much for making my children take responsibility. As far as this out of control mom is concerned, I plan to justify. My children didn't get what the wanted to be for Halloween so I won. At least my house is tidy again.

Northern Pacific Time Zone

When Lewis and Clark blazed a trail across the United States, they didn't have a friend calling them from the Pacific Coast saying, "Help me make decisions about my new house." I didn't have to cross the entire country to get to my friend in Lewiston Idaho, but I did have to convince my husband to take time off from work to take me so that I could help her make decisions about her new house. The trip was fun, but more than anything it was nice to just take a drive.

I decided that we should take our time and enjoy the drive. That was like asking an elephant to walk a tightrope. William gets behind the wheel of any car, and if there is a destination he wants to get there in the most efficient and timely manner possible. FAST! I did manage to make him stop a couple of times though. Our first stop was the nicest rest area that has ever existed. The restroom was so clean I wouldn't be afraid to put my purse on the floor. There wasn't that "rest area" smell and the tile on the walls and the bathroom fixtures made you feel like you were in a five star hotel. You almost expect a bathroom attendant to offer you a mint on the way out the door. We had to stop and breathe for a moment, however, it was a bit chilly so off to the next great stop.

Driving to Lewiston from Boise is only a five hour drive. But you know kids. The "Are we there yet" phrase started as early as Caldwell. Which is only 10 miles from our front door. Finally about half way there David asked for the map so that he could let us know if we were lost or not.

After you cut through part of the Payette Forest you come to a quaint town on the Salmon River called Riggins. We stopped to stretch our legs and let the kids check out the good sized river. There were several fisherman on the water regardless of the 50 degree weather. The kids even watched a kayaker suit up and launch into the frigid water. Some people just can't resist the call of the river.

Now comes the quick stop that my husband couldn't believe I made him take. My friend Jill makes this drive frequently to come to Boise and Las Vegas. There is a camp ground along the Salmon River that she can't resist saying. Skookumchuck. So she text messages it everytime she passes it. It is such a fun word to say that even ex boyfriends still text her when they pass the sign. It's a tradition that shall never die. I will pass this on to my posterity.

Skookumchuck, It's just fun to say.

Going North through Idaho we cross a bridge to cross the Salmon River. As you cross this bridge there is a sign. Now entering the Pacific Time Zone.

WHAT!?!?!?!?

We are going North, not West. Wierd. So while remaining in Idaho and heading North you enter PST. Yah wierd.

After some more beautiful scenery. Gorgeous forest, rolling hills, awesome railroad bridges that look like they were build hundreds of years ago. You start to smell a pungent stench. "What is that?" you ask. Well I will tell you, it's the smell of money to the people of Lewiston. It's the mill and paper factory. Wow.

This little town on Lewiston is home to around 30,000 people and it is really a beautiful place. It sits nestled between the Snake River and the Clearwater River that converge at the north end of town. What a little piece of heaven.

Once in Lewiston, we got to ride on the river and watch my best friends brother do his last run of the season (I say season, cause he will be back on his boat in December). Crazy kid, it was only 57 degree water. But the kids had a blast on the boat. The colors on the side of the river were gorgeous.

Seeing my friend and helping her out was great.

Thanks to Mike and his family for letting us raid his house and roast his marshmallows. Thanks to Jill for letting me boss her around for the weekend. It really was a great road trip and visiting the Pacific Time Zone was fun.

The Pink Lady Strikes Again

Yes, It's been a while since I have posted. No, I did not fall off the face of the earth. Thanks to the wonderful world of children I got distracted from the things that bring me personal joy. I love to write so one of my goals is to do a better job blogging my adventures.

Since the Pink Lady has entered my life I have been engulfed in her wonderland off and on. For a long time it was more off than on, however a trip to ebay changed all that. William and I decided that we needed to change up the chandelier in our dining area. Don't need to......just want to. Anyway while window shopping on ebay I came across a lovely and very dainty crystal chandelier that was to die for. Now the story about the mini chandelier goes back a year or so to when I built a little soda shop for the Pink Lady above her fireplace. It needed a light and I was determined to find one. However our search was fruitless and we gave in to the "You Can't Have It Gods" for a time. Ebay changed that.

I found the light.

Not knowing that the Pink Lady was desperate to spend money on something delectable, I sent her the link. Not ten minutes passed when I received an email. It was a Paypal receipt. SHE BOUGHT IT!!!! After a scolding from my husband I felt this small tingle start to rise from my toes. SHE BOUGHT IT!!! I sure hope it's the right size.

A couple of days later I received a phone call......the voice was somewhat familiar. It was HER, the Pink Lady and she was giggling.......Trouble. She said she was eating a Nutty Bar and looking at something pink, sparkly, and perfect. What a tease. I was now anxious to get to that pink wonderland and hang the light that we were so eager to find for over a year.

Finally I made it to her home. The pink wallpaper and candy jars were still just as wonderful and fun as when I was last there. This woman is FANTASTIC. I saw the light, threw everything down, and set up the ladder without passing go or collecting $200 dollars.

William and I knew what to do and we went to work. Nothing distracted us.

That light was fantastic and perfect and now her cubby looks complete.

Without a doubt it was worth the search. The only problem now, Pink Lady wants another chandelier above her piano. Am I going to stop her?

ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Falling Fast for Fall

Well Fall has been eventful and seems to be ongoing in the series of events that are unfolding around the SMEK family.

First and Foremost Sydney's Jurassic Sized Tonsils have been removed and placed in a Medical Museum as the world's largest tonsils to come from an 8 year old. A couple of months ago, I took the three monsters to the doctor to have all their vaccinations and pre-school checkups done. When the doctor looked down the throat of my oldest chaos creator, she couldn't help but say those words. You know the words that come from a doctor's mouth that create panic. "Holy Crap" She then proceeded to tell me that she couldn't see down Sydney's throat, her tonsils were in the way. I chuckled. The doctor then asked me if I ever noticed that when Sydney talks it sounds like she has a sock down her throat. WOW I am a terrible mom. No I didn't notice. Why you ask. Because she has been talking like that since the day she was born. The doctor immediately gave her a prescription for allergies and then made an appointment for me to take Sydney to see an ENT doctor. That visit went almost identical to the one with her general practitioner. HOLY CRAP. That was said again. This doctor than stated that Sydney's tonsils were kissing. AHHHHH how cute. "We need to take those out of there." She said. She then proceeded to tell me that Sydney couldn't possibly be getting enough sleep with those golf balls down her throat. We made the appointment and she had her tonsils out on Tuesday of this week. Her father and I made the decision to take a look at these monster glands that they had just extracted from my daughter. The nurse reached in her pocket and pulled out a sandwich bag with the red walnut sized tonsils. I was amazed, poor William was more astonished that this woman had been carrying these things around in her pocket. Poor Will!!! She is still recovering and seems to be doing okay, but she is still choosing very little to eat. Normal they all say.

Elizabeth will have her own little adventure here pretty soon. She is scheduled to go have a tooth removed from her upper gum. She has to go to an oral surgeon to have it done, because not only has the tooth not grown in yet, but it's an extra tooth that is growing upside down. That's right is backwards. You should see this crazy x-ray. The adorable little creature also reached in her mouth the other day and yanked out one of her top teeth and so right now she looks like an adorable little trailer trash toddler. What a cutie.

Trick or Treating was.....well a treat.

The kids got to trick or treat with their Daddy for the first time since we moved here. William has worked nights since we moved her and this year he has a near normal schedule so he was home in time to walk around the neighborhood. The kids were thrilled and they looked adorable.
My mom convinced me to dress up for her ward party to really throw them for a loop. It worked no one guessed who I was until the lights were turned on and one of the ladies that I play volleyball with recognized my eyes behind the makeup. That was a real treat of a trick.

William's schedule at work is really interesting right now. His shop manager quit a couple of weeks ago and then the shop foreman quit too. They are supposedly opening up their own shop. This left a couple of huge gaps open and William jumped right in and filled one of them without hesitation. His general manager is just so happy with him right now. I am too. He is working a ton more hours but he is moving up in the company and that is good. Also I think that this is the position that he ultimately would stay at. He doesn't want to go into upper management because of all the crap, and he LOVES to work with his tools and he still can do that with this position.
We were really worried that this new kink in William's job would throw a wrench in our plans to make a trip to see the family in California but we will be heading for California this Thanksgiving and boy are we excited to see the family again.
Totally looking forward to that.
So there it is for now. Ups and downs and some in betweens. More than that Life is good and it continues to get better.